Help Others.org: An Unforgettable Classroom Exercise -- A Kindness Story

One day, a teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name.

Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down. It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed in the papers.

That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had said about that individual.

On Monday she gave each student his or her list.

Before long, the entire class was smiling. "Really?" she heard whispered. "I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!" and, "I didn't know others liked me so much," were most of the comments.

No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. The teacher never found out if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another. That group of students moved on.

Several years later, one of the students was killed in Vietnam and his teacher attended the funeral of that special student. She had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin before. He looked so handsome, so mature. The church was packed with his friends. One by one those who loved him took a last walk by the coffin. The teacher was the last one to bless the coffin.

As she stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer came up to her. "Were you Mark's math teacher?" he asked. She nodded: "Yes." Then he said: "Mark talked about you a lot."

After the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates went together to a luncheon. Mark's mother and father were also there, wanting to speak with his teacher.

"We want to show you something," his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket. "They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it."

Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times. The teacher knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which she had listed all the good things each of Mark's classmates had said about him.

"Thank you so much for doing that," Mark's mother said. "As you can see, Mark treasured it."

All of Mark's former classmates started to gather around. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, "I still have my list. It's in the top drawer of my desk at home." Chuck's wife said, "Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album." "I have mine too," Marilyn said. "It's in my diary"

Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. "I carry this with me at all times," Vicki said. Without batting an eyelash, she continued, "I think we all saved our lists."

Tears rolled down the eyes of the humble teacher. We encounter so many people in our lives, and it's a precious joy to see the good in all those journeys.

58 comments: page 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

Jack wrote: Paul, you're missing the point. This is an exercise of heart not rendered intellect. Some things should be accepted on face value without deconstruction. Fiction or not it has, obviously, inspired others. Remember, the audience is elementary students, whose self-images are at the very surface of their being, and not graduates in psychology.

Josh wrote: My 10th grade math teacher did this with us. Just like some of the kids in this story i keep my list in my wallet all the time. Every so often i take it out so i can look at all the things my friends said about me. I'm an education major in college and i plan to do this with my classes too :)

Anonymous wrote: We had to do this in a psychology course i took.

I have all mine saved, it's been about 3 years now and whenever i am sad or lonely, i open them up and read them, some of them are so random and goofy but they really make me smile!

G wrote: Sad, but what i get from the story is why aren't the people who led us to war in vietnam - who are the same people that lied us into iraq - in jail for killing our friends?

Kirsten wrote: My high school english teacher my freshman year did this exercise with us. It was something that really meant a lot to me, and i still have the sheets of paper in my 'special box' on the top shelf of my closet.

I've always wondered who wrote 'good lookin'. ;)

geetee wrote: I really love when someone misses the point of a story. Children need to hear positive reinforcement from their peers, even if it's something as simple as "you have beautiful eyes" or "i think you're smart". It's pretty easy to make a list of negative qualities, and usually, kids only hear the negative, mostly from adults, and they repeat them to themselves and each other. I don't think that puffing a child up by constantly telling them they are perfect, wonderful and do no wrong ever(especially when they are doing wrong) is a good thing, but knowing a person has a kind word to say, reading a compliment from a peer, especially when those "crap" days come, can bring a smile.

Te wrote: How awesome. Hats off to this teacher and any teacher who thinks of creative ways to teach and that leave a lasting impression. So sorry for the young man who lost his life.

ed-hardy wrote: Thanks for your sharing.

katie wrote: Did. Not. Happen. - this is a fairy tale.

stacie wrote: Katie. Such cynicism. Teachers do use this in their classrooms and the positive reinforcement it brings can have lasting effects. Even if this started out as a "fairy tale", the author was an inspiration to many.

An Unforgettable Classroom Exercise

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