Help Others.org: My Hour On the Streets of New York -- A Kindness Story

On Nov 11 of 2006, I made a deal with myself that I would give $1 to every homeless person who asked. Call it a moment of clarity or whatever, but I woke up from a rough night of partying in Vegas and just felt like this model of taking wasn't working for me anymore.

Still, to be honest, I embarked on this experiment thinking that I would just bleed money, that there would be 20 or so homeless people a day coming up to me in NYC and that I would run out of money soon.
This never happened.

When I returned to NY, it took 8 days before I walked past a homeless person who asked me for some spare change. And by that time I had seen the folly of my own mind and was more than happy to part with a measly dollar. It wasn't about the money, though. In fact, it was never about the money. It was me and my mind getting comfortable with giving and giving from a place of not having a lot of resources (as a budding actor). Still, I have more than they and it felt so good. I continue to do this experiment today.

Fast forward to last week. Just returning from a 10 day meditation retreat, I had a more intense awareness of this little experiment.   As my friend would say, "How could I step it up?!?"

Here's what happened.

On my way to my NYU grad acting audition, I ran across two homeless persons -- a woman named Francine and a man named Barret. I told Francine I'd be right back because I had to tell a friend where I was; and I gave Barret $1. When I came back Francine was in tears. After a big hug, she went on to tell me that nobody listened to her. Nobody looked at her, people just walked right by her and didn't even acknowledge that she was alive. My heart broke. We hugged on the street for a few seconds and then I asked her if she'd like something to eat. She said yes, and we went into the local McDonalds.   Through her sobs and laughs, we ordered her a #6 fish meal (supersized of course!) ... I gave her a $20, told her I had to run and said I'd see her soon. I left feeling helpless.

The next day, when I walked past Barret I gave him a dollar again. To give you a visual, Barret is in his late 30's and is a cross between a guru and John Lennon. A completely free spirit, as far as I can tell. He's reading books about psychology and physics and always tells me about his platonic girlfriends that he has that come around to him for conversation.

I don't even know why I did it, but I just sat down to be with him. I had "be the change" ringing in my head. So what did I want to see more of in the world? I want to see more compassion, more people stopping and helping the homeless, acknowledging that they are alive and realizing that parting with $1 isn't about the money. It's about helping them push through their own fear of change and enhance compassion in their lives.

And so, I sat with Barret, in the cold, for an hour and a half. We drank hot chocolate and asked for spare change from people. Mostly I just listened and was extremely humbled by the experience of simply sitting and watching my perspective change from being someone who simply walks by to someone who's now an unprivileged pan-handler.

As we were talking, he was telling me about how upset he becomes when people don't acknowledge him or they'll crack up at his funny sign ("Voldermort broke my want.   need $ for a new one") but not leave anything in return.

New York. It's a city of takers, with very few true givers in the bunch. Over an hour and a half he made .70 cents. That's right, CENTS. He said on a good day he'll make between $7 and $11. I was hit so hard by this. How could I not have seen this all these years in New York City?

My meditation practice and gift-economy friends at CharityFocus have changed me forever, for good. I'm seeing things clearer and I'm able to act with compassion in ways that I've never seen before.

As I left, Barret said, "Four of five times in a year, I get a twenty dollar bill and that's amazing!" And with a child-like awe, he added, "I actually have a friend who even got $100 once!!!"   I knew right then that I was going to give him everything I had.

I didn't even count the money in my wallet.   I just gave it all, it was probably more than $200. I didn't miss it. More will come and go in the future, but in that moment, I got to give someone a dream, a little hope and if only for 5 minutes, peace of mind that the world isn't a dark, cynical, selfish place.   Hopefully Barret will continue to explore the space in that window of hope, and I'll continue to do everything I can to help him on his path.

Next up, we're making him a new sign. His idea.

GOOD KARMA AVAILABLE HERE!

148 comments: page 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15

samotr wrote: I wrote this a couple weeks ago. It was too long to post here, so here's a link to it on my blog (believe me, i didn't want to share that; i'm pretty introverted and antisocial, but i wanted to share).

Http://samotr. Blogspot. Com/2009/02/helpothersorg-post. Html

AshleyMarie wrote: I only hope that one day, i can have a soul as beautiful to the core as yours.

My whole life, it has been engrained into my head that homeless people are all alcoholics, druggies, or the like, and that if i were to give them my $1, they would not go buy a $1 burger from macdonalds, they would go buy some beer instead.

I don't want to believe that anymore. I'm choosing to believe in humanity, despite what the proof might say.

FreeWill wrote: Good for you. If you are financially able, and are so compelled, then it is a noble thing to give to those with less. I am certain that there would be many more selfless givers, like yourself, if people didn't have to throw so much money away funding government rat-hole programs that are full of fraud and abuse. People are naturally generous, so long as they are not forced into it.

The best programs for the homeless are those run by private foundations, altruistic individuals, and religious institutions.

Your story is a wonderful illustration of this fact. However, i cannot help but wonder how many more homeless people might that $200 have helped if you had donated it to a charity that is already organized to help these unfortunate folks.

Sure, giving money directly to 1 person awards the instant gratification of an immediate response, but i think it would have been more selfless to have given to your local salvation army or lutheran charity. These organizations, among countless others, feed, clothe, and provide shelter for thousands of homeless people every day. They are more efficient than government welfare programs, and they would have gotten a lot more mileage out of your $200 than giving it to a single person did.

I'm not saying what you did wasn't kind or admirable, but unless you intend to do this to another homeless person every day, it really didn't make a difference in the grand scheme of things, other than to make you feel good for a while.

alluneedislove wrote: I am fortunate to be living in a town where i never see any homeless people. I'll be travelling to new york in a few days. I love the idea of the 'good karma available here' sign. Maybe i'll make some myself while i'm there to give to some of the homeless i'll no doubt come across.

Diana wrote: I enjoyed this story very much.

Thank you. :)

Diana wrote: Beautiful story. Thanks. :)

Angel3 wrote: Wow, i am so impressed. Its difficult to really give when we ourselves are always short but you are amazing. Its true that what we give will always come back to us in different ways. Keep up the good work. God bless you always.

Niklas wrote: 7 to 11$ a day? That's crazy! A friend of mine with a rough past used to be a beggar in brussels, belgium, alternating between rue neuve and the area around grand place, and would normally get around 5-6€ an hour!

Maybe it's the different culture, or that europe is more socialist-minded than the states, i don't know.

Aaron wrote: I love you. Can i have yo numba?

arunchikkop wrote: This has touched my heart and changed me forever.

Good karma is for all.

God bless you every single minute of your life.

My Hour On the Streets of New York

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